I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I AM VODKA MAN
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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