i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
