it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
