..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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