I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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