Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
