If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize