I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
they need to just BURY HIM!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
