He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
