1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
her vagine was all disorganized.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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