you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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