hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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