Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
