"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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