So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I will pee on everything he values.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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