R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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