it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
