True but thats because hes a fetus.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I party with great urgency now.
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