yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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