i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
