can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
