is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
