I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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