i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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