dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
