i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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