Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
