I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Randomize
