just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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