He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think my moral compass just broke
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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