carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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