sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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