they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Are we still banned from the library?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
