he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I need moral support for this bender
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
