If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
