We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
