I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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