you guys were way drunker than both of me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
