I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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