And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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