Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
my liver is dry heaving
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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