This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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