does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
