she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
