he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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