Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
