Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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