Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
