Need sex. Gaining weight.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
