Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize