who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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