Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My pussy is not your playground.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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