I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
