I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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