I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
