So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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